Dating a recovering alcoholic first year
In working with the spouses and significant others of addicts, I’ve often heard it said, “I’d rather be an addict than love one.” While few people would ever walk eyes-wide-open into a chronic disease like addiction, the statement speaks to the confusion, loneliness and despair common not only among addicts but also the men and women who love them. In fact, addicts who are solid in their recovery can make excellent partners.
Many such men search obsessively, usually online or using smartphone apps, for sexual partners, regardless of whether they are in an existing relationship.Addiction is a serious disease that has taken a toll on both your mind and body.It is only fair that you take the time to heal both of those aspects before you even think about becoming romantically involved with another person.In some cases, being drawn to unhealthy sexual or romantic relationships in the early stages of recovery is part of a larger problem.The simple fact is both drugs and sex stimulate the same basic rewards circuitry in the brain.It is often suggested that during the early stages of recovery, and up to the first year, we do not get involved in any romantic relationships.
This recommendation of course has some opposition, and is either one of these topics which do not get enough attention, or huge arguments break out over it!
When you make the choice to enter an alcohol and drug rehab, you probably are not checking in with the goal of finding your soul mate.
Addiction is a disease of emotions, and once you become sober, those emotions can be confusing.
Therefore, I would like to start by saying that I believe that recovery is not one size fits all, and what might work for some or even most, will not work for all. Nevertheless, I still believe that some suggestions and recommendations may give you a greater chance in achieving and maintaining sobriety because recovering alcoholics and addicts are especially vulnerable to these strong negative emotions as they are already dealing with something that is emotionally taxing – getting sober.
During the early stages of recovery, it is essential to remain focused on nurturing your recovery.
Other men pick up women at AA or NA meetings, masturbate compulsively, visit prostitutes and massage parlors, or spend multiple hours a day looking at online pornography.